Trusting in God’s timing.

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~Photo taken by my incredibly talented friend, Emily~

Life has been a bit overwhelming lately. I have found myself feeling more and more overwhelmed by lies that the enemy is feeding me.

I’m not good enough.

I’m not confident enough.

I don’t have enough skill.

I’m not ready.

I graduate from college in three months. It feels like I have three months to figure out the direction of my life. Three months to get a stable job to support myself. Three months to finish this little thing called college I started four years ago, as a bright-eyed, bushy-tailed freshman.

My, how times have changed.

I wish I could go back and tell that young, bright girl to enjoy the moment, to not be so afraid of what others think of you. Be confident in your heavenly Father and who He created you to be. My time in college would have been so different if I hadn’t been consumed by trying to gain the approval of my peers and focus on pursuing the plan I had for my life. But I’m also thankful for the growth that has come from these insecurities. I’m grateful that God allowed me to experience these trials and that He was always walking through each new growing experience with me. There have been times when I’ve felt distant and far from God, but I’ve never felt abandoned, I’ve never felt alone.

I also wish I could tell that young girl not to get caught in her owns plans but to live expectant of what God could do. I remember many nights where I would sit on my dorm room floor and cry because life wasn’t going the way had planned it. I would yell and scream at God for allowing things to be the way they were. I felt overwhelmed by the things that I didn’t yet have but my heart wanted so badly.

How do you reconcile the loss of your plans with the plan that God has for you?

This is the question I’ve asked myself over and over as I saw my plans become obsolete and God’s plans become greater. I saw what God had planned was so much greater than I could ever imagine, even if it meant giving up some of the ideas for my life that I held onto so tightly.

This is something I still struggle with. There are parts of my life plan that I so dearly want and have yet to see come to fruition. Many days, I feel sad and disappointed. I question God and His great plan but then I hear Him whisper,

“Lizzie, trust me. Just trust me.”

I hear those words and my hearts becomes stilled.

I stop and think, am I really trusting God? How can I trust Him more? For the most part, my heart desire has transformed from what I want in life, my plans, my hopes and dreams into a desire to serve the Lord and chase after Him.

Everyday is a new chance to trust. I’m still processing through what this looks like in my life today, with graduation just a few months away. I am far from perfect at trusting and serving with a grateful heart. I still feel overwhelmed by where the next part of my journey will take me.

I don’t feel like I’m skilled enough, good enough, or brave enough. But God sees me differently. Throughout the Bible, God uses the least likely people to be ambassadors. Moses, Zacchaeus, Rehab, the list goes on. He uses the weak to bring the Gospel to the ends of the earth so that we may not boast in ourselves, but in Christ.  In 2 Corinthians 3:4-5 it says:

4 Such confidence we have through Christ before God. 5 Not that we are competent in ourselves to claim anything for ourselves, but out competence comes from God.

This is the hope that I cling to. Even when I don’t feel like I am good enough, God asks me to be willing, not perfect. So when I start to feel overwhelmed by the lies that I revert back to and believe, I remember that the God of the universe is there, and He knows what He’s doing.

Where does your confidence lie? Is it in your ability and your plan? Or is your confidence rooted in Christ and dependent on what He can do through you?

Lord, show me how I can do this in my life today, not when I’m graduated or when I have a stable job or when I’m married. Show me how I can serve and trust with all that I am today instead of waiting for tomorrow.

I hope you feel encouraged today!

Lizzie

When God says no.

tahoe-2What happens when God says no?

I’ve been struggling with this lately. There are so many areas in my life where I want God to say, “Yes,” and provide in a real, tangible way. I want Him to provide reconciliation, my dream job, and my dream man. I am pretty impatient most of the time and I find myself wanting to see God provide these things right now. But sometimes He says no. Sometimes He says wait, be patient.

Those are my least favorite words.

“Be patient.”

“But, God, why not now? Why do I have to wait”

This is usually how the conversation goes.

It ends with me asking why and God saying wait.

This makes me wonder, is my tendency to doubt God and base my faith on feelings? Is my faith based on whether or not God moves in tough situations or provides when I ask? Or, is my faith placed in knowing that God is good and faithful, even when I don’t feel like He is answering me?

I think I tend to base my faith on feelings rather than simply because God is sovereign. When things are going well in life, my faith soars but when I walk through valleys, I feel distant from God, lacking trust and faith that He’s still there.

But recently, I’ve seen my attitude towards faith change radically.

Even though I’ve felt God in real, tangible ways throughout my life, it’s easy to forget those moments when life is hard. I’ve realized that my faith have very much been tied to what I am feeling and that’s a dangerous place for me to dwell in. My faith has not always been accompanied by God’s presence and the feeling of walking down a perfect, easy road. My faith journey has been scattered with brokenness and suffering. I have walked through valleys that have seemed long and filled with the word no. If I had let my feelings dictate my faith, I would not be the woman I am today and I would not have faith that is rooted in who God is rather than what I am feeling. I think that I would have turned from my faith long ago, because I just didn’t feel that God was there.

Each of those valleys, though, has caused me to put more and more faith in who God is, rather than if I am feeling God at that moment. But I also haven’t be passive during those moments. I have cried out to God, asking Him to move in the situation, to speak to me, to fix whatever is wrong. In crying out to God, He has mercifully answered in ways I could have never imagined but that are also not in line with what I had hoped for. He often times says, “No,” to what I have imagined the fix to be but has answered in ways that are so much better. Knowing that He is sovereign, holy, and good gives me the ability to trust in the plan He has ordained, knowing ultimately that He will never leave me.

So what does happen when God says no?

I think it’s important to remember that even though God may not be moving in the way you had hoped, He’s still moving. He may have a better plan than you could ever have imagined. If God says no to giving you your self-chosen “dream job,” He has a better plan in mind. If God says no to healing, trust that He will use it for His glory and that good will still prevail. If God says no, rest in the knowledge that He is good and works everything out for the good.

It says in Romans 8:26-28 (MSG):

Meanwhile, the moment we get tired in the waiting, God’s Spirit is right alongside helping us along. If we don’t know how or what to pray, it doesn’t matter. He does our praying in and for us, making prayer out of our wordless sighs, our aching groans. He knows us far better than we know ourselves, knows our pregnant condition, and keeps us present before God. That’s why we can be so sure that every detail in our lives of love for God is worked into something good.

The God who created the universe knows and loves us. He has called us to faith that is not dependent on feeling, but rather trust that He is good and sovereign. He knows our prayers, even when we have no words left to say. He knows every detail, desire, and hope we have far better than we know and allows us to stay present before God. He works in our lives to produce something good, even in the mess and suffering.

And especially when He says no.

Friend, I don’t know what struggles you have, the path that you are on, and the condition of your faith but I do know what it’s like to be in those places. Don’t loose faith because God says know. Have hope because He is working on something far greater than you could ever dream of.

Have faith. Trust that He is God. Trust even when you don’t feel like God is there. He’s still moving.

Just wait.

It’s going to be awesome.

Lizzie

P.S. This MercyMe song has been on repeat the last couple of days for me and I’ve had to ask myself, will my hope still be in God even if He says no? If you’re needing encouragement, give it a listen!

 

Hope in suffering.

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I sometimes think about how Eve ate the apple and get frustrated. No, actually, I get angry. I’m angry that because of temptation and evil, there has to be pain and suffering in the world. I’m angry that because of disobedience, there is poverty, inequality, and starvation afflicting so many around the world. I’m angry that there is conflict and war devastating people’s livelihoods, forcing them to flee to foreign places, not even knowing the language spoken in those countries. Mostly, I’m angry that God has given us free will and choice to do what we please because we usually run in the opposite direction.

But, when I think about it, I’m also glad. I’m glad that God gives us the choice to either walk in truth or reject it and He never forces us to submit. I’m glad that He loves me enough to give me free will, even if it means that I might walk away from Him. I’m glad that even through suffering, there is goodness and faithfulness.

Over the summer, I got the opportunity to live in South Lake Tahoe on a summer mission. I was there for ten weeks and experienced community in ways I never could have imagined. That summer has changed the way I view my relationship with Christ. I am more in love with Him now than ever before. I also experienced hard things that summer. I remember one Sunday, I was at church. The music and preaching was mediocre, I felt overwhelmed by the pain that I was going through, and I was pretty apathetic toward the whole church thing. The worship band began playing the last song and I stood there, halfheartedly singing the lyrics. Suddenly, I felt the weight of God’s goodness and faithfulness on my life. I recalled several times in my life where God had come through, when He was good to me and most importantly, when He was faithful. I had to sit down because I was so overwhelmed. I had never experienced God in this way before. I felt as if God was saying,

“Lizzie, look what I have done in your life. I will continue to move just like I have in the past.”

That was the most intense encounter I’ve had with God. You see, just weeks prior, I had cried out to God in desperation and it felt like He was not listening.

But He was.

Why do I ever doubt that God is good?

With so much pain and suffering in the world, my tendency is feel overwhelmed and doubt that God is good. I can’t explain why there are children dying of starvation and lack of medical care simply because that’s where they were born. I can’t explain why I was given the opportunity to grow up in a loving home, free from worry about where our next meal would come from while children are born into poverty and hate. This is something I have struggled with throughout my walk with God and during this summer. I couldn’t answer the “why” questions. I had doubts, fears, and anger about why God would allow things to happen that were painful and out of my control. I felt so much anger towards God. It simply couldn’t be that pain and suffering was in His plan.

I remember so many nights when I wept, screamed, and cried out to God.

And it felt like He was silent.

Up until that one morning when He showed me He was still good, He was still God, and He was still faithful. I am so grateful that amidst my pain, God showed up, like He always has and always will. I’m grateful that He choose the perfect time to remind me of this, a time when I was at my lowest.

Friends, I don’t know what you’re going through right now or how hopeless your situation feels, but I do know that I’ve been there. It’s okay to be angry, it’s okay to ask God why, it’s okay to just sit in your grief.

But don’t stop there.

Ask God for clarity, ask Him for faith, even it when it seems hopeless, and ask Him for joy in the midst of pain and suffering. Ask Him to just be with you. Even when it feels like life is falling apart, there is hope. Even when you’re experiencing deep hurt and pain, there is joy. And even when you feel alone, God is still there.

This is the hope that I choose to cling to. Romans 15:13 says,

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.”

He is the God of hope and He will fill us with joy and peace as we trust in Him through the power of the Holy Spirit.

I hope you feel encouraged today!

Lizzie

 

What I’ve learned (and am still learning) from this season of singleness.

 

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I’ve spent hours dreaming about meeting and falling in love with “the one” and guess what?

I still haven’t.

I thought that by this time in my life, I’d be in a serious relationship, leading towards marriage. But here I sit, coasting towards nearly two years of singleness. I’ve struggled with questioning this part of God’s plan for my life. My roommate often jokes that whoever I marry needs to be a crazy romantic because that’s how I’m wired, and she’s not wrong. But while I sit moping, watching Hallmark channel movies, and reading Nicholas Sparks on the weekends, I’m reminded of all that has happened. I’ve learned so much in this season of singleness.

And yeah, it’s only a season.

I’ve learned that my worth is rooted in Christ. I know, it’s so cliché but I’ve had to remind myself of this day after day. The only place I can truly have worth and confidence is resting in God’s grace. I am confident in the woman that God created me to be because He created me.

I’ve learned that I can do so much for Christ in this season of singleness. That’s not to say that I can’t change the world married, but I do have much more freedom to follow Jesus to the ends of the earth. One day I hope that the man I marry has the same desire to chase after Christ with reckless abandon. I hope that he will carry out the call of the great commission right alongside me, going into all the nations. But in the meantime, it’s exciting not to have anything tying me down. I can be rootless in where I live, but fully rooted in Christ.

I’ve learned that Jesus is enough. This has been a hard lesson for me to learn. For so long I’ve bought into the lie that I need someone to love me here on earth, that Jesus wasn’t enough. And it caused so much pain. I would become obsessed with guys and any glimmer of hope in a relationship would cause me to plunge deeper into this obsession. I became so emotionally entangled in this heart idol and it caused heartache. But God was always waiting, with open arms, for me to turn my heart back to Him. His love is constant. His love is unfailing and before I start quoting 1 Corinthians 13, He is ultimately all I need. God has placed in me an innate desire to be a wife and a mother. I trust that He will provide.

“Take delight in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:4

And so, I keep pushing forward, delighting in the Lord, trusting that He will provide for the desires in my heart. It might not be in the way that I had planned for my life but He won’t desert me.

I’ve learned to love myself. I know, another cliché response, but it’s so true! Learning to love who you are is one of the hardest tasks you can be faced with but if God created us in His image, then how can we criticize what He has created? If I have confidence rooted in Christ, then I can learn to love myself, and not wish that I was different. It has taken time (and a lot of prayer!) to come to this point, but truly loving who I am in Christ has been one of the biggest blessings that has come out of this season of singleness.

I’ve learned to be patient. In my pursuit to honor God, I have chosen to save sex for marriage and it has been hard. But through this season of singleness, God has shown me how to be patient and how to wait. When I eventually do enter that serious relationship that will lead to marriage, I will have learned how to be patient and to wait. Although it still probably won’t be easy.

I’ve learned to trust. I am the least likely person to place my trust in something other than myself. It’s hard for me to trust when my best friend drives me around. It’s hard for me to trust that groups members in a project will complete their work on time. And it’s definitely hard for me to trust that God’s plan is better than I could ever imagine. Singleness has taught me to trust that God will provide for my every need, even if it’s not in the way I envisioned. Like the verse below says, I pray that as I trust, my heart may be filled with joy and peace and overflow with hope through the power of the Holy Spirit.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

I’ve learned to be content. Man, this is the toughest lesson that I’ve had to learn. I have so many hopes and dreams for the future that it’s hard for me be content with where I’m at. I struggle to be completely content because there are so many temptations and lies that tell me I deserve more than what I have now. So many times, I have believed the lie that my life would be better off with whatever material things that I thought I needed. But I’ve found out this is not true. I continue to struggle daily with being content in my singleness but I’ve realized that this is a season that I should cherish, one that will allow me to pick up my life and move wherever the Lord calls me, to be free to pursue after the Lord with all my heart and never look back.

So, I’m not going to end with final thoughts of encouragement or glimmers of hope. I know that if you’re single, you’ve already been told a thousand times what a catch you are and how this will not last forever. But I do want to tell you to take heart and think of all the things that you can do during this season. Make a list and actually live out those things. Find joy in doing life with the Lord and gratefulness that you get the chance to walk through this season with Him by your side.

I hope today you feel loved!

Lizzie